The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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