Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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