I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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