I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to be your penis for a week.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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