How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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