His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
