Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize