You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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