it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
