when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
