Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize