Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She said her name was "party"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
