I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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