Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize