:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
