Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
