Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
