Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
