Banned from zoo.
Again?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
