Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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