Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
