glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
