i think my tv is drunk
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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