Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
