Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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