ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
