would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
