I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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