Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
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it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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