somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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