Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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