i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
