babies were throwing up all over the place
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He kissed a someone with a penis
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
