yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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