FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
