You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
