My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
