I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
