I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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