and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i love accidental penises.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
