I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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