I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
