I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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