You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
