But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
