; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You've changed since you got that strap on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
