i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
