I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Randomize
