My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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