she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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