Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  creepy.

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  (810): My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago? (1-810): creepy. http://tfl.nu/125x
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (1109)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.

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  (425): This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference. http://tfl.nu/xg4w
  Replies (51) Good night (8977) Bad night (942)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.

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  (907): I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even. http://tfl.nu/24fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5741) Bad night (848)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

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  (903): How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number? http://tfl.nu/4q6h
  Replies (33) Good night (5549) Bad night (1227)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it

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  (650): I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it http://tfl.nu/nnzm
  Replies (15) Good night (1160) Bad night (3822)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.

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  (971): I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again. http://tfl.nu/g2lj
  Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (4127)
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  (310): View more from California

  Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.

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  (310): Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention. http://tfl.nu/i2tc
  Replies (17) Good night (2770) Bad night (4415)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.

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  (503): He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out. http://tfl.nu/qidl
  Replies (6) Good night (3072) Bad night (925)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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  (816): Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples. http://tfl.nu/my8g
  Replies (5) Good night (2150) Bad night (795)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

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  (443): If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating. http://tfl.nu/mpso
  Replies (8) Good night (740) Bad night (2061)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.

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  (618): I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sv5z
  Replies (4) Good night (1703) Bad night (1352)
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  (914): View more from New York

  at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.

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  (914): at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock. http://tfl.nu/0hid
  Replies (9) Good night (1625) Bad night (592)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..

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  (540): margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted.. http://tfl.nu/mj6g
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (739)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.

  (315): View more from New York

  How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??

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  (561): She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation. (315): How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives?? http://tfl.nu/1ctg
  Replies (3) Good night (1881) Bad night (743)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.

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  (647): So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers. http://tfl.nu/zbe6
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (394)

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