He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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