Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana