Texts From Last Night

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  (855): View more from

  I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?

  (855): View more from

  No. I am devastated

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  (855): I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts? (855): No. I am devastated http://tfl.nu/0cqz
  Replies (3) Good night (791) Bad night (914)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'

  (810): View more from Michigan

  needless to say i wont be back home tonight

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  (810): dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?' (810): needless to say i wont be back home tonight http://tfl.nu/wf6u
  Replies (38) Good night (4921) Bad night (572)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt

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  (225): Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt http://tfl.nu/3ulw
  Replies (17) Good night (2092) Bad night (3111)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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  (715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv
  Replies (11) Good night (4981) Bad night (1059)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

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  (813): were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes. http://tfl.nu/3m35
  Replies (20) Good night (4965) Bad night (1356)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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  (204): Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments http://tfl.nu/8aia
  Replies (9) Good night (4343) Bad night (1229)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.

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  (330): Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience. http://tfl.nu/lhjv
  Replies (8) Good night (2140) Bad night (588)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.

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  (817): I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/7tra
  Replies (21) Good night (582) Bad night (1564)
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  (518): View more from New York

  HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.

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  (518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR. http://tfl.nu/dsxu
  Replies (12) Good night (1950) Bad night (770)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW

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  (319): 4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW http://tfl.nu/z9cc
  Replies (9) Good night (1776) Bad night (465)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.

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  (971): I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up. http://tfl.nu/s3lx
  Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (424)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.

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  (914): Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/r09f
  Replies (9) Good night (439) Bad night (1028)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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  (306): she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex http://tfl.nu/jwtl
  Replies (7) Good night (824) Bad night (281)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.

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  (405): ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction. http://tfl.nu/wfsg
  Replies (1) Good night (177) Bad night (412)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?

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  (412): I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630? http://tfl.nu/wg1y
  Replies (0) Good night (440) Bad night (344)

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