i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird