Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
