Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
