im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
