Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
