I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
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She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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